DAS KRAPITAL

"The rarest of all commodities in this world is love." -- South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford to Maria, June 10, 2008

"The rarest of all commodities in the world … is independence" -South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford to The American Conservative, March 9, 2009

Nov 6
(Jamie Dimon is also opposed to repressive cuddliness, according to this somewhat baffling passage in LMS.)

(Jamie Dimon is also opposed to repressive cuddliness, according to this somewhat baffling passage in LMS.)


Page 139 of Last Man Standing. And no I am not saying that I believe in the existence of a “meritocracy” or any of that nonsense. I am just saying that a big reason late capitalism is so terrible is that it is so stupid. The Will To Whatevs  probably could have saved a couple billion taxpayer dollars if someone with power in finance believed in reading.

Page 139 of Last Man Standing. And no I am not saying that I believe in the existence of a “meritocracy” or any of that nonsense. I am just saying that a big reason late capitalism is so terrible is that it is so stupid. The Will To Whatevs probably could have saved a couple billion taxpayer dollars if someone with power in finance believed in reading.


Yeah yeah yeah, “genius” fails, but basic literacy can’t hurt right? (Although: someone stick some Galbraith in that Gulfstream.) (From page 166 of TBTF.)

Yeah yeah yeah, “genius” fails, but basic literacy can’t hurt right? (Although: someone stick some Galbraith in that Gulfstream.) (From page 166 of TBTF.)


Page 120 of Andrew Ross Sorkin’s Too Big To Fail addresses the problem of bankers being too dumb to read. (Hey, you can’t say Gladwell didn’t warn us about Myers-Briggs.) To all of you who were seeking an abridged version my problem with Malcolm Gladwell, well, I’m not a big abridger. I will, however, actually read your book.

Page 120 of Andrew Ross Sorkin’s Too Big To Fail addresses the problem of bankers being too dumb to read. (Hey, you can’t say Gladwell didn’t warn us about Myers-Briggs.) To all of you who were seeking an abridged version my problem with Malcolm Gladwell, well, I’m not a big abridger. I will, however, actually read your book.


Oct 18

Larry Summers ROBBED

And WHERE THE F IS BOB RUBIN!??!! Oh, but inclusive of you guys to invite Ralph Nader, Vanity Fair.

Alt-F also disappointingly went red at “Ayn” and “Hayek” and “Joe Gregory” but you’ll be happy to know chav culture, Jacob the Jeweler and Barney Frank are rubbing tramp-stamps with the Community Reinvestment Act on here.

That said there is no better list if you are seeking inspiration for planning a financial crisis themed party. Like, if the postage wouldn’t cost so darned much I would be sending out invites printed to look like pay option ARMS and synthetic CDO indentures with fine print promising to defer the payments on bottle service and luxury goody bags for the first two years to all the infantile Celebrity Industrial Complex serfs on my frenemies list right now.


Jun 29

Today’s crap email is a return to the classic “Holy fuck I thought the last guy who cheated on ME was pompous and self-aggrandizing” form

But it is just me or is it at least kind of decent that he admits that likening his girlfriend to his controlling parents is a “whole lot of barely-veiled denial”?


"But both do put their finger on a post-sexual revolution paradox — namely, that the same overclass that was once most invested in erotic experimentation ended up building the sturdiest walls against the passions it unleashed… Our meritocrats could stand to leaven their careerism with a little more romantic excess."

You mean to tell me careerism and romantic excess aren’t basically the same thing anymore? I bet that is because of how no one gets drunk these days.


Jun 25

Jun 24

"it began very innocently as I suspect these things do… just a casual email back and forth…"

another good reason to check dudes’ email.


What I Text About When I Send “Minor”* Text Messages

Somewhat on the subject of emails and text messages: I was cleaning out my custom word list in my BlackBerry so that it would stop prefering some of my frequent typos to actual words: “wheee” instead of “where”, etc. And the list of words I’ve “taught” my phone in the last year was pretty telling. Send me your cell phone custom word lists and I will psychoanalyze you; for now, I’ll analyze my own. Some categories and conclusions—

Negative descriptive words: argh, barf, capitulation, cheesy, chutzpah, clacking, clingy, clusterfuck, collosally, curmudgeon, debauched, debauchery, disrespected, diss, doppelganger, doubletalk, douchey, drinken, egotistical, epically, faintness, faux, gossipy, hipster, hipsters, huffy, hypochondriac, icky, loutish, masochistic, motherfucker, pissed, pissy, PMS, posey, pouty, roiling, scenesters, sheesh, shitty, shoesonwrong [sic], sleepily, slimeball, sloshy, sociopath, sociopathic, ‘spensive, staledating, stalkerish, sucky, tattling, tipsy, trollop, unaffordably, undateable, vindication, wimped

Conclusions: These words get used in field reports send to friends via text message while I’m out. I could be pouty, roiling with anger, huffy, collossaly or epically tipsy—especially if it’s some debauched thing where a loutish ex-boyfriend has showed up with a clingy new girl clacking around in stupid shoes, can you believe his chutzpah, drinks are unaffordably spensive, the other guys there are undateable, etc—it was a clusterfuck, and that’s why I wimped out. Capitulation or vindication?

Positive descriptive words:
doable, jammie, kindhearted, leotard, Marxist, mindfulness, modelling, munchie, utopian, vegan, veggie, yay, yum

Conclusions:
Far fewer positive words than negative ones—might need to apply some positive-thinking mindfulness. Also, why am I so asinine? It’s like, Yum, vegan munchies, kindhearted Marxist snack-sharing, yay, did you like my leotard? Again, this smacks of Oberlin and is sort of vile. I apologize.

Let’s hang out:
liaising, RSVP’d, topfloor, brownstone, townhouse, arecibo (car service), cementing, brb, doin, BBQ, jammie, unwinding, munchie.

A lot of text messages are about making plans—this is not super interesting, just logistical. Why do I think topfloor is one word? What’s up with jammie? I don’t even know.

New York specific:
brownstone, Barnard, Bedford, Bronxville, Earthmatters, Eldridge, Freddy’s, Freddys, Gowanus, Gramercy, Habana, Idlewild, Iroquois, Montauk, NYer, Pelham, TNY, townhouse, Williamsburg, arecibo [car service], BAM, Barbes, Bowery, Broome, Bway, Delancey, Dumbo, Flatbush, Frankie’s, Glasslands, Gpt [Greenpoint], Havemeyer, Hawthorne, Oberlin, Pravda, schillers, scratcher, transitchek, Wburg, Wesleyan. Wooster, xstreet.

Conclusions:
More or less a round-up of NYC and greater NY streets, neighborhoods, bars, and a couple of places to eat. Barnard, Oberlin, and Wesleyan are included here because 90 percent of people I know in New York went to Barnard/Columbia, Oberlin (me), or Wesleyan. I think this list is a little vile, like it sells me out kind of by placing me in my geographic/sociographic context, and also because so many of these are bars. (See also my on-going Google Map of “Every Bar in Brooklyn I’ve Ever Been To.”) Okay, whatever, I present this as a solipsistic sociological-linguistic document.

* “minor” text messages is a reference to a certain dude we know who bristled because he thought he was expected to send too many “minor emails”, meaning the “how was your day, did the job interview go well, do you want to eat risotto for dinner, did you see this funny youtube video” variety that boyfriends might send to girlfriends. Or vice versa. (“Minor” in the same sense of the author’s minor works of literature. And to his credit, this guy does write excellent “major” emails.) Minor emails and texts: nice and relationship affirming, but M & I are more prone to date the guys who flat-out just don’t respond to your text messages because it goes against their “sense of free will” as one guy explained it to me once.


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